I love books, love reading, love just about anything that has to do with literature. But I hate–and I do mean hate–the Twilight series with a fiery passion.
First of all, let’s just not fool ourselves into thinking that Twilight is the new Harry Potter. Not. Going. To. Happen.
Secondly, what were Stephenie Meyer’s parents thinking when they spelled her name S-T-E-P-H-E-N-I-E instead of S-T-E-P-H-A-N-I-E? Hers is less conventional, yes, but it also has a different pronunciation. I will allow that the difference is subtle, but people, we have got to know the English language well enough to know that Stephanie and Stephenie are not the same. And if you don’t, get Hooked on Phonics. No, I’m not kidding, and yes, I did hyperlink that for you so you can go to their website.
Thirdly, Twilight is not literature. It never will be. It’s terribly written and the characters are ridiculously flat. Also, no one’s life is as depressingly romantic as Meyer paints Bella’s. News flash, Stephenie: the lack of a decent plot, boring characters, and terrible narration do not a novel make. For those of you who are looking for literature, may I please point you to Jane Austen, Louisa May Alcott, L. M. Montgomery, Mark Twain, C. S. Lewis, Bram Stoker, etc. I have read books by all of these authors, and would highly recommend them. This gives me an idea for my blog, so get excited now.
Notice #1: While I am a diehard fan of Harry Potter, I wouldn’t quite consider this literature either. However, it’s extremely well-written, with dynamic and multi-faceted characters, interesting moral dilemmas, and plenty of suspense. I honestly question how J. K. Rowling is ever going to live up to the fame she achieved with Harry Potter.
Notice #2: I may be an English major and a literature geek, but the one author I will never recommend to you is Hemingway. It would take the next year in posts to document why (just kidding, but it would probably take a while), so I won’t go in depth here. Just know if you want something interesting to read, Hemingway is not a good idea.
Fourthly, since I’m not very good at satire, I think you should read Lessons Girls Learn from Twilight. I would have laughed aloud, but my roommates are currently sleeping. (Yes, I am again posting at an unearthly hour.)
Fifth, the main reason I dislike Twilight is because when, Bella is faced with probably the one and only agonizing moral dilemma in this entire series: to involve herself, or not to involve herself, with Edward, Meyer paints it as a foregone conclusion in Bella’s mind that she will. I would like to think that the female portion of the human race is much less of a doormat than Bella and therefore would have thought this through much more fully. I know in many cases that wouldn’t have been true, but in many others, it would have been. (Mine, for instance.) But I said all that merely to say Bella, from the very beginning, makes very poor choices.
I only read the first book of this series, but that was the only one I needed to read to know that I didn’t want to read any more about an uninteresting character whose greatest “virtue,” in choosing the vampire that millions of girls across America are now obsessed with, was really her greatest vice. Honestly? As a Christian, I just couldn’t see Bella’s choosing a relationship with a vampire as a wise spiritual or personal decision. I mean, vampires, before this book, were considered evil, remember?
Anyway, if I’ve warned you away from Twilight and you’re still desperate for a good vampire story–and would like to stay within the bounds of literature–I suggest you read Bram Stoker’s Dracula. You can get it for less than ten dollars at Borders Books & Music.