it’s been five days since i landed on american soil and they’ve been some pretty busy ones.
i’m still processing all of what happened on this trip, still trying to grasp the fact that i’m not going to africa, not in africa, but have been to africa.
i never wanted to go to africa. i don’t know if i ever said that or not, but i never did. it was lower than spain on the list of places i wanted to go. but the Lord called and i went.
sometimes when you obey like that, without much thinking, you come later to a place where you explode. those of you who were here last year know. you’ve seen the heart explosion that culminated in “my heart: the manifesto.” and this time, i’ve let my heart ponder along the way, and i’ve been intentional about seeking Christ as an individual throughout my time in kenya.
i don’t understand why He called me to africa, if or how He might use me there further, or how deeply our efforts on behalf of His kingdom rippled throughout kenya, throughout africa. but i’m laying my heart trembling for answers in His mighty hands and choosing to trust. this is a little new for me. i’m used to having the answers, used to deciding them when i can’t find them.
but instead, now, i’m letting the living water carry me to a place where i rest in peace without them.
i used up the last bits of fighting energy the day before i left for kenya, about things unrelated to the mission, and saw the trip as a place to rest, a place to take a breather before carrying on with what plagued me. and i learned, during this trip, so often we focus on the peripheral, instead of focusing, like we were able in kenya, only and always on the work He had set before us. psalm 37:4 is made beautifully manifest in this way. our desire in choimim was to give Him glory and He worked through us to do exactly that.
trusting in Him requires us to set our eyes upon His face, and i’m praying, desperately seeking, to learn what that looks like post-kenya, in the mundane realities of the mitten life. He is more a mystery to me in michigan, but equally as present. and this adventure is one i never expected, but one i’m finding myself eager for.