one | tailgate. the person going sixty-five on the highway shouldn’t be the middle or the left lanes anyway. if tailgating doesn’t make them speed up, take the soonest opportunity to pass them – on the right.
two | after a red light turns green, let go of your brakes, despite the fact that you’re behind someone. everyone in front of you will get through the intersection faster if you do this.
three | if you happen to be the lucky person at the front of the line, let go of your brakes once you’re reasonably sure that the light will be turning green in a few seconds.
four | ignore the signs posted at the beginning of highway construction zones that tell you to slow down to sixty from seventy. after all, the fact that there’s an long line of orange barrels on the side of the road means only that, well, you’re still on the road.
five | when a lane is shut down ahead and you’re forced to merge, stay in the soon-to-shut-down lane and race down it until you’re only feet from where it ends and force your way into the long line of cars in the other lane.
six | do not let anyone in front of you if you should have strangely happened to have merged before necessary.
seven | drive five to ten miles above the speed limit at all times.