i don’t really know what to write today.
sometimes there are times when you’re living life and your cup spills over, and you’re too filled with that spilled over ambrosia that you can hardly sit to write a word about, well, anything. and that’s where i’m at right now, i think.
it’s been a good week, even with 3am wakeups and 5am floor set. i like working floor set, watching the merchandising come together, helping to make the vision become a reality. it’s design at its most basic (in the organization) and at it’s most creative (in the styling). which is only one of the many things i never imagined i’d find when i started working retail.
speaking of my job, i was hired seven months ago today. and it has been a crazy, awesome seven months.
i was having a conversation with two of the managers the other day and i was talking about how i love my job because it’s hands-on. i just finished reading quiet by susan cain – which is fantastic and which i wholeheartedly recommend to everyone, introvert or not – and she mentioned that introverts are in their heads a lot.
well, i am definitely an introvert, despite how much my behavior on twitter may testify against that, and i am in my head all the time. my mom and i have had multiple conversations about how we think and think and think and then think about thinking and think about how we wish we could stop thinking and think about how badly our heads hurt because we wish we could stop thinking but can’t. and i needed something – i didn’t realize this before in a conscious way but i think i’ve figured it out now – that took me out of my head. that forced me to meet people – and not just people, but strangers – where they are instead of always retreating into myself and meeting people where i feel comfortable, which generally involves me behind a coffee cup or a computer screen or both.
i love my degree and i wouldn’t change it or the classes i took for the world (well, except for a few ;] ), but the disciplines i studied are thinking ones. i rarely took tests in college. instead, i wrote papers. and i’ve already talked about how i didn’t make very many friends in college, how i shoved social interaction aside for being a student and teacher and eating and sleeping and not much else. and what i didn’t realize is in that time, i forgot, to my detriment, how much i love people.
this sounds paradoxical, especially since greeting customers on my very first day was one of the hardest things i’ve ever done. i think we ought to reserve hard for the things we do only because He pulls us together, the times we can feel our strength pooling together in our chests, giving our heart the motivation it needs to pump blood to the brain, quick beats flowing with a melody of “go, go, go.” and when the brain hears the heart-song, it fires a neuron here, neuron there, and music only the cells can hear turns into music the people hear as “what can i help you find today?”
it comes out stilted at first but i’ve learned to sing it. i’m still learning to sing it.