There’s a check among many others, but the thing about this one is that it has my name on it.
They’re written out for ninety-nine and 00/100 dollars, for a women’s retreat in Ohio next month.
(I know. Ohio.)
Community scares the mess out of me.
Can I say that?
I think I already did.
My roommate for the weekend is the mother of one of my childhood friends.
It felt brave to ask her but it makes the brave of the whole weekend much easier to bear.
Did I say community scares the mess out of me?
Because it does.
What broke us once the bad way will not necessarily do so again. And in fact I think community is supposed to break us – but how, and what we do with the breaking, is what makes us people who trust God or people who run from Him.
I want to trust Him.
I want to trust the breaking of my heart at the hands of community is the breaking of my heart for what shatters His. And I want to trust that however my heart is broken, He is the business of restoring those tiny pieces for His glory and my good, but mostly His glory.
Because that what He does, and that’s who He is, and it makes this brave thing feel a lot less terrifying than it did the day I wrote out a check for ninety-nine and 00/100 dollars.
This was originally written to post tomorrow but then I saw Bailey was hosting a challenge to blog every day in February and today’s topic was something that scares you! It was obviously meant to be.