it was the second half, and we were losing.
we got a free kick. my coach told l, our center midfielder, to take it.
i played sweeper. my job was to handle things so our goalie didn’t have to.
in the spirit of that, i told l to move up, that i would take it instead.
when you’re in the habit of playing losing seasons, you start to think about not losing by a lot, instead of still trying to win. we were all in that mode. and in the spirit of that mode, especially when you’re about thirty-some yards from the goal, you’re not trying to capitalize on an opportunity.
you’re not looking for net.
i had this weird feeling that looking for net was the way to go on this one.
and i can kick pretty hard and pretty far, but it takes a really, really skilled player to score from more than twenty yards out. i would not dare to call myself such a player.
so i looked for net,
shot for net,
hoped for net…
& one of the other team’s defenders went to head the ball, and it hit her just toward the back of her head, and would you believe,
i got net.
it was a big dream.
it was also a long shot.
L scored another goal to bring us to a tie to close the game. and when we met that team again, you better believe that tie had given us the confidence to take it to them, 7-3.
today, i’m halfway to twenty-one. and today, i’m ten months away from my college graduation.
it scares me, thinking about it.
it scares me because when those things happen, i’ll be in my twenties, very possibly moving out of state, and very definitely looking for a job that is or will lead to editing books or something related to a museum of history.
getting my dream job? obviously, a very big dream.
also, perhaps less obviously, a very long shot.
do you have those? big dreams? long shots?
are you losing? been losing? trying not to win, but to lose only by a little?
are you looking for net?
you should be.
i should be.
i am prouder of the day we tied fhs than of the day we beat them. because on the day we tied, we allowed ourselves to think differently. we allowed ourselves to think, yes, we can, instead of no, we can’t. we allowed ourselves to start dreaming big, even though those dreams were long shots.
when we beat fhs, it only drove home the point.
so when december 28, 2011 and april 28, 2012 start to worry me, i will think of a different day instead.
april 7, 2006.
the day i dreamt big, took a long shot, and hit net.