i have a confession to make.
i completely forgot my word for last year.
since 2011 i’ve chosen a word for the year, just as a theme for me to focus on. 2011’s word was fearless.
2012’s? shoot. who even knows? i sure don’t. i forgot probably a few months after i chose it. i haven’t known it for months. i had to look it up, for goodness’s sake.
well, here’s a funny for you: it was present.
as i reread the post in which i gave my reasoning for choosing that word, i was absolutely struck by the way God weaves our lives together even when we are not paying attention, even to those things we decide.
or better yet, i can see how He put that word before me a year ago this week, giving me insight i didn’t recognize into a year i didn’t know a thing about.
i had written about living gospel before but it wasn’t until i put pre-evangelism into practice in spain that i was fully aware of living gospel as i was doing it. it was incredible. and then i came home, spent two weeks in GR before moving back to my parents’, got a job working retail and learned how to live gospel on the sales floor.
i have seen Him teach me humility in picking up the clothes that have been dismissedly tossed on the floor. i have seen Him teach me humility in not being recognized or thanked by customers for the work i do – and humility when i am recognized and thanked by them. i have seen Him teach me selflessness, seen Him gently prod and push me into spending a few extra moments with a customer even though i would rather move on to the cut and dry tasks of my job. and i have seen Him teach me how to recognize all of these things as His grace, both for me and passing through me for others.
i have been present this year, in a way i never expected when i chose that as my word for 2012.
and it occurred to me, for as long as i’ve been choosing words for the year, they’ve followed a natural progression. fearless: learning to step out for His glory even when it made me uncomfortable. present: recognizing those moments and stepping fully into them for the sake of the gospel. dangerous: what i become for His kingdom when i learn to fully live the previous two words.
and seeing how He has woven this all together makes me so, so eager to see what He has planned for this year.